Man of Your Word

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of chaos and mayhem in my life. As it begins slowly to subside back into the dull roar that is my everyday existence I find myself called to remember my fundamentals.

Now you followed my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance, persecutions, and sufferings, such as happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium and at Lystra; what persecutions I endured, and out of them all the Lord rescued me! Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
-- 2 Timothy 3:10-17

When it comes right down to it, being a good Servant requires daily exercise in the fundamentals, just like being a good athlete or stock broker. If you forget the fundamentals, if you don't master the fundamentals, if you don't exercise them consistently, you won't be able to perform when it matters. You'll fail under pressure, you'll choke when complexity increases.

The truth is aspiring to Servanthood is asking for persecution. Just like being the best on the basketball court means you have to expect the strongest defense and the most aggressive players to take you head on. When you are striving for excellence, always be prepared for the attack. It may be a subtle wedge in your life, or a full-on havoc-wreaking hailstorm but it will come. We aren't just promised it will happen, persecution is almost a mark of the true believer. Just like with the Great Temptation, if you want the hunger to stop, if you want freedom from the thirst, you only have to turn away.

A study of this passage in the original language brought about an interesting perspective for me. Paul tells Timothy to "continue in the things you have learned". Which in English would imply a movement or direction. To proceed in the direction you have started. But in reality it means to "stay", to "remain". This really spun my head because of how frequently we talk about the Walk. About how we are growing in Christ or living out our beliefs. But here we are called to "abide", to "rest", to simply "stay".

The world is revolving and in constant movement and change. Only in Him is there permanence, stability, an unchanging absolute. If you are clinging to the Rock, holding fast to the One immovable and everlasting, then you really will stay. Cling tight, and don't be moved. Once you have your grip, continue to hold on. This is very different from the world which always says go forward, keep moving, you need to advance.

How do we continue? What are we called to continue in? In the things we have learned. Our knowledge of Him, our faith. That which we have known from His Word. Which brings us once again, to living by the Word. To being steeped in it daily. To guiding our thoughts by it and leading our hearts from it. These are things that won't happen if it isn't in our minds. If we haven't made it a part of our day, embedded in our life.

Along with the promise of persecution, and the call to continue in what we have learned, is another promise. A realistic, and impactful promise. It is that knowledge of the Word will be profitable. That it will equip the man of God for every good work.

For me that is a promise most practical. If there is one thing I strive for it is to be equipped for doing the good works. I'm a servant; good works is what I do. If I'm going to be successful, I certainly need to keep myself ready and able. I need to ensure I have the resources (mental, emotional, intellectual and otherwise) to serve when the opportunity arises. Being saturated with His Word I am given a promise that I will be given what I need when I need it. And not just enough to meet the need, but to be profitable. To benefit and profit from its use.

Sure, it isn't always easy to find time for the deep dives in the Word that so refresh me, but the rewards are clearly outlined for when I do. And when I am continuing in Him and the storms pick up, it drives me ever closer in spite of my shortcomings.

Labels: discipline, manofyourword, reflections, walk

In the last couple weeks I've had a conversation keep coming up in different venues with different people. Based on it's frequency I felt I should perhaps write about it to get my thoughts put down.

One of the first such conversations happened in pub. Yes, it is an established designed exclusively for the consumption of alcohol and simple food. However the music is great and I enjoy chatting with my friends on Trivia night.

This particular trivia night (some weeks past) I had been chatting up a friend I've never spent any significant time with. Out of the blue, the conversation turned to the topic of religious preferences. So right off you know it was an innocuous affair because bringing up religion with someone you fancy would otherwise be just foolish. Indeed we plunged headlong into church attendance (or lack thereof) and then to belief systems, and with no fanfare crashed headlong into. . . faith. Such a comfortably ambiguous place to be.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
-- Hebrews 10:23,24

It seems that every time someone wants to avoid the questions of religious preferences, myself included, we hide behind this notion of being Faithful Not Religious. Has organized religion so let me down that it is now unacceptable to be associated with any particular variety? For myself, the answer is yes. Which will probably be a disappointment to many of you, and no surprise to others, but my writing demands unabashed honesty and full disclosure.

Days later, I was meeting with a friend with whom I routinely share accountability. As we discussed church attendance and I mumbled my way through excuses he simply asked what my father thought. Ouch. Bringing my dad into discussions about my religious discipline is like choosing the nuclear option. From him you can truly learn the meaning of commitment, devotion, apologetics, and servanthood. His questioning of my heart is always intense, direct, and non-judgmental while still leaving me exposed and transparently self-aware.

My friend easily let me off the hook, but for my own heart I couldn't stop thinking of how easily in more than one conversation I'd so neatly dispatched any question of my place in organized religion. Not only have a distanced myself from any formal commitments I've fabricated a ration and reason for the disconnect. In the span of weeks I'd polished my avoidance to where I could deliver my excuses without any remorse. Except I did have remorse. In my heart I knew what my excuses would sound like under the scrutiny of my father. And once I know that I'm deluding myself, I can't do it anymore. Just a curse of the search for transparency and self-awareness, I guess.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
-- Hebrews 10:25

So I know I need to reconcile with organized religion. I'm just not sure how. Maybe I've not felt all the pain completely yet. Maybe I've not embraced the forgiveness yet. Maybe I still have trust issues? Maybe. For sure.

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
-- Hebrews 10:26,27

Now having written all this I want to encourage those who think I don't attend church. I do. I visit several churches regularly. I just don't belong to any of them. I don't may commitments with any of them. In many ways I deliberately remain an outsider, a visitor, a guest. I need to worship, and covet the companionship of believers, but am still cautious. So don't get the wrong idea. Worship is important as well as being disciplined about your faith. For me, this is about reconciling with organized religions, denominations if you will.

Labels: faith, reflections, walk

This was a hard post for me write. It will be a difficult post for many to read.

This past week I had the immense pleasure of heading with some friends on a vacation to Las Vegas for my birthday. It was, quite simply, one of the most fun times I've ever had in my life.

The coming home however, shredded my heart in a multitude of tiny lacerations. It was in the tone of voice and the raised eye-brows. It was even in the subtle teasing and prodding of my beloved father "They call it Sin City, do you know that?" The words he spoke in humor and jest, but unspoken chastisement was a familiar lash.

I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.
-- John 17:14-16

Don't misunderstand; I am of a singular mind and resolved in my convictions. The peace I found for my own walk is still blown about by the judgments of others. When presented with their own questioning, it makes me second-guess myself as well. As it should. It is not my wish to cause another to stumble. I want only to bring Him glory. As a lamb amongst the wolves, it requires constant vigilance and sacrifice.

I want to be in the world. It is where I live. Where those I would serve reside. How else to lead a rich, full life, amongst those I care about most deeply if not alongside them. If I'm not willing to walk their shoes and share their lives, what makes me qualified to serve?

It is in these amazing times of bonding and recreation that you see clearly what motivates and moves people. When faced with so many compromises, the knife-edged morality we wield stands out in sharp relief.

I am not so naïve as to think this isn't a slippery slope. The dangers of spending too much time amidst the temptations of the world are very real to me. The apostle was clear that we can rationalize almost any worldly behavior given sufficient motivation. Just because it's tempting, just because it's hard, doesn't mean we can just close ourselves off and reject relationships and lifestyles that we are not our own. Just spending a weekend of self-indulgent relaxation does not mean I'm going to end up with a needle in my arm or catch herpes. You can get rowdy and wild without losing your inner compass.

The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
-- 1 John 2:17

So I partied in Vegas. But I still served my friends. My faith is intact and most of my dignity. I am surely in this world. It's my hope I stand apart from it.

Labels: faith, reflections, walk

Every now and then, we all get knocked back on our heels. It might be finally writing the 400th page of your new novel and realizing you aren't even close to being done. Or maybe you woke up and decided that after a decade slaving away you just don't like your job anymore. Maybe you got too much sun and now realize that warm toes beat cold weather every time. Regardless of why you are taking the hits, and we all take 'em, there are a couple of things we've all tried when hit with a wake-up call.

Deciding to start a new relationship and chain someone to the bow of your personal misery ship is one of the Very Bad Ideas.

Let's face it, drama is inevitable in each of our little worlds. As we stumble along our own roads we collect varying degrees of baggage at some points and discard it at others. When it comes to jumping headlong into a new relationship you probably want to make sure you can tread water by yourself a little first.

It isn't that you won't grow and change and evolve in a relationship. But a certain core of stability must be present so that you have something upon which to build. If you are both emotionally-stunted and only quasi-available, the best you can hope for is some severely dysfunctional chaos. Which might take the form of some really passionate interplay or some wildly distracting conversations. But ultimately, without a foundation, anything you build together will probably end in rubble with first few tremors.

Sadly, the best advice is the oldest advice. You'll know you are ready to be with someone else, when you are capable of being by yourself. Only you can really say when it's time to leap from the sidelines into the Great Dance. From time to time you might even end up on the floor because you let go of the rail a little too early. Those are the times we might need to lean on other partners and friends who help us limp back to the comfort of the couch with cuddling or some casual flings. If leaning on them in your crisis helps you cease being crippled, then lean heavy. But only for a season. If you want your limbs to limber and strong you must learn to lean on them alone.

Partners in the Great Dance are only evenly matched when they can both stand on their own, come together on their own terms, and bring their independent strengths and leverage. If you are properly equipped then by all means, hit the floor. If you aren't properly equipped you should definitely be prepared to hit the floor, but we prefer you don't drag us down with you.

Labels: reflections, relationships

It's no secret that I'm a creature of volatility who generally avoids habits. However there are certain habits to which I do steadfastly adhere and encourage others. The first is prayer. The second is reading. The third is (wait for it. . .) writing.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
-- Deuteronomy 6:4-5

It's fairly common find the habits of the daily devotional, which usually encompasses the reading and the prayer. For me that's not enough. We are called to "pray without ceasing" which to my mind is really about an attitude or mindset. Unfortunately, we are human and such a broadly ambiguous goal usually ends up serving as license for casualness and a general slacking-off.

My desire to treat such a call with practicality of purpose and honor the intent with sincerity gives me pause to consider the more formal religions and their merits. The above passage from Deuteronomy is called The Shema and is the main prayer for Jews. Shema can be translated "hear" in Hebrew a name derived from the contents of the passage. It is customarily said at least twice a day, firstly when you arise for the day and again when you retire.

The Shema is the centerpiece of Jewish thought and practice. It is a cornerstone habit, if you will.

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
-- Matthew 22:37-40

As we are reminded in this passage, habits by themselves aren't all the Lord requires of us. Surely love for our God and our neighbors is mandate here. But in practicality we are also given the mechanism by which to make this real in our lives. Jesus makes it clear that we are to interpret all of scripture through the filter of these two imperatives.

For myself, I stand amazed at how simply impactful and relevant that simple adjustment makes on such a weighty issue. With one small clarification the precepts are moved from concept to application. They are made relevant and real only by shifting them from simple habits to a lens through which we can view all the rest of our world.

In case you were wondering, yes, I often speak The Shema. (wow, how self-centered am I?)

Labels: prayer, reflections

In my former life, I spent most of my days with executives and leaders. The more time I spent in their company the more accustomed I became to the expectations of their lifestyle and work environment. In general, at the executive level your time becomes the most valuable commodity. It simply becomes more efficient to pay someone else to do the lower level or menial tasks than for an executive to do it themselves.

Over the years, I witnessed countless examples of how the pampering of executives can get wildly out of whack. In my life, I've known leaders who couldn't read their own email and had to have it screened for them. I've known many executives who refused to drive themselves anywhere, would never answer their own phones, and didn't track their own calendars.

Now this might be one end of the spectrum, but when I look at how those people behaved day to day as well, the same tendencies applied. They would throw out decisions and directives, fire missives, craft ultimatums, and arbitrarily fix schedules. It was just expected that the people who worked for them would just figure out the details as needed. If plans had to change, the workers would adapt. The servants react to the leader and his wishes as fluidly as those wishes might change.

In my present life, I've been striving for servanthood. It took me abandoning my old life to even begin to make strides towards becoming a new man.

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. -- 1 Peter 4:10

In my journey towards becoming a servant, I have endeavored to put my full mind and attention towards embracing the menial and mundane. A significant change in my world view has been a willingness to give up my time to the schedules of others. Being willing to perform the simplest tasks, to move at the speed of the slowest person, to support the difficult and dysfunctional people with an uplifting demeanor and countenance. For someone who worked his entire life towards efficiency, expertise, and excellence, you can imagine this is a challenge.

Even as I craft my own true heart of servitude I find a challenge in my roles as a leader. How can I continue as a servant when called to leadership? Can you be a servant leader? My reflection and meditation has led me to think that a servant leader is the only true leader. All others are only shadows. Without a servant heart, a leader too quickly becomes only a traffic cop, a figure-head, or a dictator. This is a trap I've found myself in from time-to-time and one I wish sincerely to avoid in the future.

You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. -- Mark 10:42-45

The only way I know to be a servant leader is to focus on the first word first: servant. Being willing to roll-up the sleeves and do the menial and mundane. Assuming firstly that no work is beneath me. Being personal and transparent and allowing for the style and speed of others. Walk softly and lean lightly on the shoulders of others, speak the positive more often than the critical. These are principles I seek to follow.

If you've got insight and guidance, my mind is open.

Labels: leadership, reflections, walk

I read quite a few blogs and thanks to my incredible father keep up with quite a swath of the writing in theological arena of the day. I am a voracious reader, but he puts me to shame. I'm sure the fact that he has more time on his hands (he's earned it!) counts for something but still, I wish I could keep up with him.

Recently, seemingly by coincidence, I've read quite a bit on the topic of marriage and family and relationships. Almost without exception, there is a tendency to bash the role of men in the breakdown of the family. If you go back to the widely cited National Marriage Project, a study from Rutgers, you see that in general people think that it is men that don't want to be married. They attribute this inability to commit to several reasons including:

• It is easier to get sex outside of marriage.
• Living together already gives them the benefits of marriage.
• The likelihood of divorce is high and carries significant financial risk.

This is hardly the exhaustive list, but it's pretty representative. Most of my reading has been offline, but you can easily find lots more examples of writers here and here and here and here and here and here and here who are basically saying the same things.

Now the issue I have with this is simply that it takes two to tango.

This one-sided view of state of family today is completely horrendous. It's is like we are simply ignoring that women want easy access to sex and will manipulate to get what they want. That women aren't also wanting to hold off the responsibility of children until later in life. That men haven't been taken to the cleaners for years by women in our grossly prejudiced legal system. Check out the 2004 National Scruples and Lies Survey for more fun facts.

If women want sex as much as men, they are delaying children as much as men, and they are scared of divorce as much as men, don't they have an equal incentive to avoid a marriage commitment? After all, for those who do want children, we've removed any single mother stigma and it's now elevated to a status position. We've removed the divorcee stigma and have certainly weighted the divorce courts significantly in favor of the woman, especially if children are involved.

So let's do the math. They have equal disincentive to get married, more incentives to not get married, less risk and more reward in the unfortunate event of divorce. Yet this whole deterioration of family values and the decline in marriage rate is solely due to men being selfish. Puh-leez.

Don't get me wrong, I think men are generally selfish (I know I am!) and many may find themselves guilty of some of the reasons cited for why they avoid marriage. I just think that's only half (less than, actually!) the story.

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
-- 1 Corinthians 7:1,2

I guess my decision to rant about this, even in light of the possibility for it to be misinterpreted, stemmed from recent reading where my experiences and experiences of people I know were poorly represented. In the past few years, I've personally had to break off more relationships because of sexual or cohabitational pressure from the woman, then for any other reason. In this day and age, I know it can be shocking to find someone who just isn't that interested in sex. My personal experience is that I've known way more women who were using men, than men who were using women. Of course, that's just my life. Your mileage will vary.

I didn't intend this to sound specifically disparaging towards women, if that's how you take it, I don't really care to hear about it. From my point of view, there isn't just one answer or one story. There are lots of perspectives and angles. It just really bothers me to be painted (along with my friends) with the brush of villainy while we are busy dodging victimization by women whose selfishness goes unchallenged. Maybe later I'll bash all the men I see doing stupidly selfish things and taking advantage of women, just to keep the posts balanced.

Wow. That was pretty raw for me. Let the flames begin.

Labels: reflections, relationships

Have you ever heard the expression "Let's get down to brass tacks."? It's generally used in a business or negotiation setting in reference to the details of a deal. Presumably from the days when things like luggage, horse shoes, leatherworks, cobbling and furniture, used tacks in their construction. To refer to the brass tacks meant the little items that would hold the whole thing together. They signified the quality, care, and luxuriousness that went into its creation. All in all, a well worn sentiment in full use today at a more conceptual level.

This post isn't about wheeling and dealing, negotiation or the art of influence. Read that sort of stuff here.

This post is about how my God and my faith in him so often lets me address even the biggest issues and short-comings in my life with a simple review of the "brass tacks". Let me explain:

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.
-- 1 Corinthians 1: 26-29

Throughout His Word we find stunning examples of how He changes the rules of this harsh world that bind our minds. They usually always share the same mark, "But God". That is all it takes to see the world anew, to be refreshed and freed and made whole. Those two words are the light showing us how He breaks through the stalemates and posturing and questioning and doubt and impossibility. Because He is God. He can. He does. He has. He will.

He said to them: "You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him. But God has shown me that I should not call any man impure or unclean. So when I was sent for, I came without raising any objection. May I ask why you sent for me?"
-- Acts 10:28-29

It doesn't matter what we are faced with. He doesn't care what zany predicament or embarrassing situation we have gotten ourselves into. It doesn't matter if we are shiny, happy, people just stuck in a rut that isn't glorifying God. At any time, in all circumstances, if we call on Him in faith He will move. If our desire is truly for His will, then our reaching hands are grasped every time.

Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him.
-- 2 Samuel 2:14

In the last few weeks I've been struggling, but more important I've been watching people close to me struggle. My friend who is stuck in mediocrity hidden amongst flash and distraction. He cries out and screams "What am I supposed to do?" into the silent void. I only weep behind my eyes and pray with him. He won't be hearing brass tacks from me, we aren't close enough anymore I guess.

The downside is how powerful those words can be if you can just work them into the conversation. Like the twist at the end of great movie, those seven keystrokes change everything that has happened and opens the way for anything to happen.

The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. 15He said to them, "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight.
-- 2 Samuel 2:14

Even in my family my frustration with failing to influence increases exponentially each incident. They say they reach, and want to, but they won't do beyond the theory.

In all this winding footpath that is your life, each step must be deliberate. Without those conscious choices to celebrate and deviate and recuperate and recreate and sometimes just buckle down and do, we meander and wander letting aimlessly and despair creep in. Our companions of Worry and Frustration comfort and console us onto the softer path as we casually, care-freely careen over the cliffs and into the caverns of chaos. And then we ask "Why?" It is then we have the presence of mind to question our state and fate. Only then we realize that at every step our indecision and indeliberation made our choices plainly for us. And we accepted. We kept plodding, broken and bowed.

Take this time now to grab hold to faith. Inject a little "But God" into your speech. When you think you are out of options remember all those times the story changed with only two little words. You don't have to stay on the softer path. You can halt the free-fall. You can be broken, but God will heal you. You can be flounder, but God will bring vision and light to your world.

It works for me.

When I let it.

Labels: reflections, walk

The holidays are fast wrapping up and it is at this time of year, while reveling in the litter of prior annum's carcass, that many attempt to clarify new directions and choices for the coming one. We politely call them resolutions and listen to them almost tongue-in-cheek.

It seems that as a Body we are struggling to be resolute about anything these days.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
-- 1 Peter 5:6-10

I'm sure you've heard someone talk about their resolutions this year, and then almost immediately speak about which ones they'll break first. Which of these serious intentions they'll let fall to the wayside . You might even be one of those people who writes a list and files it away in a drawer. Not that there is anything wrong with writing down your intentions and declaring your choices.

Like most things, the basic idea sounds attractive and helpful. What could be wrong with trying to make improvements? Surely nothing. But like all good deviations it isn't the core that leads you astray it’s the pretty paper it's wrapped with.

Discipline, servanthood ,and faithfulness are not choices to be listed out and checked once a year. Change doesn't happen in that gloriously reflective mood so easily induced by turkey dinners, catching up with family over football, or after a midnight champagne toast. Real change is incremental. It is practical and hurts. It usually makes you feel worse before it makes you feel better. Think of it like exercise, or a savings account, or a 14-hour flight to Australia.

For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. -- 1 Corinthians 2:2

Don't get me wrong, I applaud taking time to reflect. Self-assessment and personal growth planning is very important and necessary. But the convenient timelines are too often a slippery slope. They allow us to start our mindset off on the wrong foot. The clock isn't reset every YEAR, it resets every WEEK, every DAY, every HOUR…you get the picture. When we focus only on the big decisions, we ignore the little ones that truly define our character and being. We give ourselves a built-in escape route. After all, no one ever keeps all their New Years resolutions, do they?

Labels: reflections, walk

In my work life I travel a lot. The hectic schedule and the many locations in which I find myself on any given Sunday mean that my connection to a single church is transient at best. I attend many different services but usually miss out that deeper connection that comes from socializing with others in a church outside of Sunday morning.

For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
-- Romans 12:4,5

This passage is easy to over-simplify. It is so easy to just skip right past, "Yes, we are a team.", "We are all in this together.", and so forth. But what about another way of looking at it for deeper meaning?

The organic connection of the elements of the body that Paul describes is a great place to start. If I twist my ankle my hands immediately reach towards my legs. If I burn my hand, my eyes see red. When a foul ball comes shooting at my head, my neck and torso contract to duck out of the way. Each part of my body is connected to every other part. The pain one feels is shared by all. The peace of relaxation or sleep is felt across my whole body. The parts all belong to the whole, but they individually belong to each other too. If your feet are cold, put a hat on.

This interconnectedness is easy to see among people who live and socialize together regularly. When you see someone almost daily, it is hard not be affected by their pain or uplifted by their joys. This I feel is one of the primary reasons a church should be about more than just worship. The worship is important, but so is maintaining the connection outside of worship.

How are we to build and grow these connections without the regular contact that comes from sharing the same geography? How are we to exercise and hone our spiritual gifts without the constant exchanges with other believers? I don't know that you can.

If the growth and development of the church is a spiritual war, then some of us are the scouts. We travel from place to place, learning and observing. We pop back into camp from time to time to share and be comforted, to encourage and bring news. Then back on the road we go, into the fray. We can do that knowing that there is a safe camp for us to retreat to when we need it. That there is an army of believers who are training each other, growing each other, and maintaining the home base for when we need it.

Labels: reflections, walk

Pain can be the road we take that leads us to the opportunity for extraordinary ministry.

When I was younger the phrase "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." was made popular in movies and popular culture. I still hear it from time to time. Most of the time it just seems like a catch-phrase we use to encourage ourselves or others to persevere in some hard endeavor. As is often the case, my reaction was to question and I wondered why stronger is a goal we might aspire to attain. Back to the Book.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
-- James 1:2-3

Okay, this is pretty close. Perseverance, we know from other Scriptures, is a good step on the road to servanthood. So I suppose a loose interpretation of stronger is that we are able to persevere. That isn't what struck me in about the way James put it though.

Why on earth should we be considering the trials ( a.k.a. the pain) to be any kind of joy, let alone pure joy? Because as we struggle, as we work and endure, our eyes are not on the trial, but on the end goal. The person we are being shaped into becoming.

Leave it to me, to lose all your confidence
And no i can't stop, this train wreck before it hits
I hope I don't sound, like the X's on your calendar
I stumble on new ground, to gather up the formula

Fate, faith
You and me
Love and pain
Fate, faith
You and me
Love and pain
Even I know, there's a line between emotion and
Fate, faith
You and me
Love and pain

How selfish of me, to think I'm the only one
To question mistakes, a fools game I'm losing now
Just taking my time, planning out my escape
I'm scared what I'll find but it's the choice I have to make

We can't control what we are
It's not our place, it's out of our hands

-- Love and Pain by New Found Glory

If your motivation is correct, then work (read: pain) will make you stronger. It will shape you and build you up. It will equip you so that your service will suffice. Conversely, if your motivation is only for your own betterment, you will see only surface gain. The suffering will truly be a trial. It will become something you must persevere through instead of something that brings you joy.

I'll take the pain because of my love. I'll face the fate because of my faith and the hurt to honor Him. Servanthood is never simple.

Labels: faith, reflections

We have been considering how Christians today subscribe to the Culture of Choice instead of walking by faith (see this post for the start of the discussion).

The first aspect we examined was in the life of Abraham. From the Scriptures we understand he was a man who was regularly addressed by Jehovah. Another aspect that comes to mind is the Parable of the Talents.

"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

-- Matthew 25:26,27

In the Parable of the Talents, we see a master giving three different servants different amounts of money before going away. When he returns, they each report their activities with the money entrusted to them. For this discussion we focus on the response to the last servant. This servant took the money and hid it. He didn't just marginalize the gift, he actually covered it up, removing even the possibility that it could be used! The response from the master is strong and direct.

In this parable we are given clear indication that along with our salvation the gifts we receive from our Savior are intended to be put to good use. That use can be a overt, risky, sacrifice. That use can be more passive and conservative. But it must always involve a commitment, a whole devotion to a potential outcome and willingness to lose everything for what we might gain our Lord.

None of the servants were given specific direction. Only the gifts. Only the talents. How they each proceeded was their own choices, their own individual commitments. And even those who were more passive and conservative were rewarded for their willingness to commit. Only the one who did nothing was cut off. That servant was waiting for his burning bush, the opportunity to get a return for his master without risk to himself.

When we are walking by sight and not faith, focused only on finding flaming fauna, we disrespect the gifts of our Father. Out of love for our Savior we should diligently search and study the Scriptures, pray for His guidance, and commit to His Will in our lives. Commitment is an activity.

Labels: faith, reflections, walk

Two stories in particular come to mind when we consider how Christians today subscribe to the Culture of Choice instead of walking by faith (see this post for the start of the conversation).

The first story is about Abraham. Like many God-followers from Scripture it is easy for us to discount their faith because it seems they were given such clear direction from on high. If God provided them burning bushes, voices from clouds, bright lights, or still, small voices, it is no wonder they walked steadfastly in His Will! If I ever get stopped on the road by the Angel of the Lord wielding a flaming sword, I doubt I'll have a problem listening and taking the words to heart.

The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, 'To your offspring I will give this land'-he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.
. . .
Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor.
. . .
Then he prayed, "O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.
. . .
Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor.
. . .
Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.
-- Genesis 24

This part of the story starts with God speaking to Abraham about a wife for his son. Abraham then has to send a servant, who has to make his way across the country with a caravan. There is no specific destination, just a general hand-wave of a region in which to end up. Once there, the servant has to figure out how to actually go about choosing the wife. He begins this with prayer. The critical part to draw attention to is that after praying first and then seeing the results of the prayer is he still proceeds to watch her closely.

Even given such clear direction from the Lord about a wife, notice how there was a whole host of things that had to be done for His Will to work itself out the way we interpreted it would. Some of the activities required Abraham to work through another person (the servant). It also required that Abraham have faith that God would guide the servant independently, far from home. The servant also needed faith that the options would be presented and one would be both acceptable and the clear choice.

As we examine many of the stories and parables found in Scripture, especially those that speak so definitively about His direct involvement, it is possible to see how much faith was also required. The plant erupting in flames might provide a reassurance of His Will, but by itself it is insufficient.

Consider that at any time, the servant could have totally punted. He could have just settled on the first girl he came across, or have been less diligent in testing and examining his initial choice. Abraham could have inadequately prepared the servant (ten camels!) or been less restrictive in his instructions. Each aspect of this unfolding Will required a faithful response, a full commitment from the participants. They had to give up other choices to follow His Will (no more touring the countryside with camels for the servant, Abraham had to trust the servant wouldn't squander the gold, would bring back an acceptable girl, etc.).

When you do come across a bush that's burning, how do you keep walking by faith? Considered another way, how do you figure out which direction to head when the landscape around you is devoid of any bushes, enflamed or otherwise?

So we know we can't get sucked into the trap of always trying to leave our options open. We also know our choices do matter, and we are expected to choose something. In the follow-up we'll discuss why we can't just reject all the choices completely and wait on solely on the shrubbery to ignite.

Labels: faith, reflections, walk

Commitment is making a choice to let go of our other choices.

In any situation it might mean other things as well, but the impact of commitment is that it closes off our options. This is what makes commitment so hard. Especially in the choice-driven culture of today.

Whether you are struggling with pursuing a relationship, your education, a job choice, or any major decision, our tendency today is keep our options open as long as possibly. We don't want to commit, we don't want to give up our choices. As Christians we overlay this sense of deliberation with the Will of God.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
-- Romans 12:2

Unfortunately, it is all too easy to use this passage as a crutch; allowing us to withhold our commitments; refrain from making choices. After all, we wouldn't want to make decisions without waiting to really know His Will, would we? And so we wait. We flip-flop and ruminate. All with the excuse that until, like Moses, we see a bright burning bush illuminating His good and perfect Will, we aren't jumping into anything.

The main issue I have with waiting for a burning bush comes back to another of message from Paul which concerned our walk (as many of his messages did, gotta luv it!).

We live by faith, not by sight.
-- II Corinthians 5:7

Aha! Herein is the crux. If we are walking by faith, we must be committed. I take this to mean that most of the time we won't be getting burning bushes to just light our way. If we were guaranteed to each get a burning bush, then where's the exercise of faith?

If we are walking by faith, we must feel our way along with a general sense of what He has called us to do, and filling in the gaps as we stumble along. By faith we choose, by faith we walk, by faith we make commitments which reduce our choices.

How then can we know in what direction to stumble? By prayer and meditation, studying His word, being in the world, and serving those around us. When we are only focused on watching for a burning bush, we take our eyes of His Word, we fail to listen for His Voice.

In my follow up, I'll take this a little further.

Labels: faith, reflections

This past week or so I've been focused on supporting some friends who lost a loved one. As I reviewed conversations in my mind each day preparing for the challenges that the morrow would bring, I found that a recurring theme presented itself. Oddly enough it was more evidently in the older than the younger. They questioned if there was more that could be done. More prayer. More faith. More [insert your religious ritual or tradition here].

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'
"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "
And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"
-- Luke 18:1-8

In our world of weights and measures, blame and finger-pointing it is so very, very easy to view our Lords justice in a similar fashion. Then by extension we treat our relationship with Him with the same lopsided scales we use in our relationships with others.

There is no requisite number of prayers, there is no magic measure of faith, there is no transaction that can be constructed, no matter how ambiguously that will influence the will of our Father. People aren't saved because we prayed 400 times instead of 399. Prayer is not a hand grenade or a game of horse-shoes. It is not a game, not a purchase, not a currency.

At least one point for this parable is to show us that our God who IS just is so vastly different then our human measures. The judge in the parable is wicked; he only helps the widow to shut her up! My Father hears every utterance of my mind, each time, every time, regardless of the atrocious weakness of my faith.

All this is not to discourage our devotion to prayer. Absolutely not! At the conclusion of the parable we are reminded that the Son of Man will come and will then determine if He finds faith on earth. One of the greatest expressions of our faith is prayer. This is why we are commanded to always pray and not give up. When the Lord returns he will find us praying without ceasing.

More than just diligent obedience it is worth remembering that prayer is one of the most tangible ways our faith is exercised. It is our conversation with our Lord, the way we build our relationship with our Father. Not as a currency, not for a transaction or to bring influence. Simply because there is no place we'd rather be than conversing with our Savior, especially in those moments of hurting.

Labels: prayer, reflections

Communication is not necessarily one of my strongest gifts.

For a long time I struggled with empathy. My own selfishness and attitudes made it hard for me to set aside my personal agenda and take time to listen to others. If you want to speak well, you must first learn to listen well. I can hear alright, but listening is something I have always had to work at.

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist teacher who wrote the book, Creating True Peace. In it he proposes that we are only able to listen to someone else when we are clear in our reason for doing so. To truly listen we must seek only to offer the opportunity to open their heart.

If you can keep that awareness and compassion alive in you, then you can sit and listen for one hour even if the other person expresses wrong perceptions, condemnation, and bitterness. You can continue to listen because you are protected by the nectar of compassion in your own heart.
-- Creating True Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh

It is interesting that Buddhist speaks of the aspects of listening as it relates to the effort required of you, and your ability to perform the activity of listening. What do you do if, like me, you are just sometimes deaf and dumb? For me the ability to listen is many times a factor of the situations I find myself in or the circumstances of the conversation. My petty ego, temper, and ignorance means I blunder around like a blind man, even when my intentions and my heart are in the right place.

He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, "Ephphatha!" (which means, "Be opened!" ). At this, the man's ears were opened, his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly.
-- Mark 7:34-35

It is those days when nothing I do is working out and when all my attempts to speak plainly result in unintelligible mumbo-jumbo; those are the days I need my Savior to act on my behalf. I must fall upon His mercy and await His favor. Only then will my ears truly be opened.

It amazes how non-obvious the connection between these behaviors can be. If you want to be able to speak plainly, you must first open your ears. And in the case of this man, much like mine, only the Word is enough to open the ears and thereby loosen the tongue.

Labels: reflections

Forgiveness is hard. Looking for forgiveness that will never come is excruciating.

There are things in my life I will never be forgiven for and offenses that no one on earth will ever free me from. Which is why I lean so heavily on my Heavenly Father for His forgiveness.

On earth, we hold things over each other for years on end. We carry grudges and we tend the fires of our hatred. Once divided, we rarely seek reconciliation. Our nature as humans to tear down and destroy stands in conflict with our desire for reparation and restoration. I know how hard I have struggled to forgive, but that doesn't stop me from hoping others have an easier time of it and forgive me!

"What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.' 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?"
"The first," they answered.
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you."
-- Matthew 21:28-31

At first blush this isn't so much about our earthly forgiveness as about our ultimate judgment. He makes it clear that we are judged not by how we answer, but by how we actually respond with our actions. It is whether we show up when requested; the RSVP alone doesn't count.

This assurance of salvation is a huge deal for helping me move forward but doesn't really speak to how to apply this when dealing with people here on earth. How do we handle the disparity between what I want to do and what I actually do? How am I to respond to my own failures? How am I to respond when my failures aren't forgiven on earth?

If you read closely the first request you see an interesting qualifier on the request from the father in the story. He says go and work TODAY. Not go and work this week, or for a while. In this one word, He sets the expectation that the request is for the present and is limited. He lets us know that tomorrow will be a new day, with possibly a different request. Fulfilling this one request will only take a day. You don't have to swallow a lengthy commitment. You don't have to decide your whole future in the next 5 minutes. You don't have to get it right for years on end. Just actually do the one thing He is asking of you TODAY.

As I struggle with knowing that earthly forgiveness is out my reach, I am reminded that tomorrow is a new day. There will be a new invitation to work. Not just for me, but for each of us. It is okay to wait and see what tomorrow brings. My invitation will come and so will yours. Who will I be working side-by-side with tomorrow? Will it be you?

Labels: forgiveness, reflections

As a very frequent traveler, I get to participate in those little near-death flying experiences more often than most. There is something about being in the back of a steel-can at 30 thousand feet bouncing around with the lights flashing and thunder crashing, totally surrendering control to the elements and the hands of a stranger.

While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you." They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost.
-- Luke 24:36-37

In reality there are few times in recent memory that I can remember vivid fear. The kind where you might border on calling it terror. Even when I get that jolt of shock that translates to fear from losing control that rarely escalates to sustained dread. Of course, perhaps that is just because of the relatively safe life I lead.

How do you deal with fear? Uncertainty? When you hear the sound of your own heart beating in your ears, how do you handle it? For my own self, I find prayer and reflection the sure cure. Remembering my own mortality has never been a chore for me. And with the trials in my life, I've long ago resigned myself that those in my life will continue peacefully and successfully without me. That has certainly been harder than it sounds, but oh what peace it affords.

It also helps that I keep my life insurance paid up.

Labels: fear, reflections

It has been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. As humans we have always looked to the strongest, the most powerful, or the smartest for direction and guidance. We naturally tend to examine the behaviors of those around us to guide what we think and how we act. Our parents, our coaches, our priests, and our warriors all take their place as role models. These days even our athletes, actors, and artists are considered role models.

Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.
-- Philippians 3:17

The greatest imitators are children and the immature. Growing up we try to walk like our fathers and mothers, we dress like our siblings or friends, and we take on the mannerisms and speech of those we admire. In the past, it was felt that most imitation begins at home. These days, a case could be made that most imitation is for things outside the home, on tv, or on film.

This attempt to establish public figures as role models isn't new. In the early 19th century, a man named Parson Weems wrote the now famous "Life of Washington". This book provided young Americans with someone to emulate. Specifically in this book was the cherry tree myth which was designed to praise Washington's honesty and inspire others to tell the truth regardless of personal cost.

Today books are considered less pervasive then film. Even today though, if Oprah Winfrey endorses a book, it is nearly guaranteed to sell millions of copies. Advertisers and manufacturers take advantage of the cult following around celebrities and agree to pay huge sums to athletes and performers to represent their brands. When famous person X is shown to eat a particular food or wear particular fashions then others will imitate these behaviors.

This same effect follows religions as well. In your walk, who are you imitating? How have your beliefs been impacted by the celebrities around you? Is your faith the result of books or The Book?

In my own daily life, I struggle somewhat with who I am following, but even more with a bigger question. Is my walk something I would encourage others imitate? Am I even someone worth following?

Labels: reflections

My devotion this morning covered Luke 19. It is the story of the tax collector Zacchaeus.

The thing I noticed right away was how ambitious, deliberate, and motivated Zacchaeus behaves in the story. When he can't see, he climbs a tree. When he feels compelled to realign his value system, he does it. Unflinching, without hesitation, no delays.

The unworthy person develops his wealth at the expense of his character.
The mature person develops his character by means of his wealth.
-- Mr. Smarter-Than-Me

Why can't I be more like Zacchaeus? When called to the mat, when short-comings are clear, why can't I change so easily. Do I just lack faith?

Perhaps I'm standing in the crowd and I just can't see clearly enough my Savior. Instead of watching out only for the big decisions that will cement and clarify my commitment; should I instead find a fig tree and widen my view?

Choosing to not settle for the perspective we have, to mingle in the crowd like sheep, seems such a subtle thing. In the story about Zacchaeus it becomes clear how even the littlest decisions we make can become excruciatingly pivotal.

Labels: motivation, reflections

In the workplace, the subject of religion is generally considered to be taboo. But when a work friend is struggling, is it wrong to comment that we will pray on their behalf? I would submit that if you have insight into their personal faith system it is not wrong. However to assume when you have no understanding is probably not wise.

If like myself you find yourself praying often for others even in circumstances where you may never see the outcome, how do persevere not being privy to the answers to those prayers? For me, it is one of the great mysteries that we can pray at all. Anticipating answers is way above my personal pay grade from the start.

In my study of prayer a central theme emerged to quell my indecision in such matters. The consensus would appear that there are types of prayers that are always answered, and three specific types of prayers that are always answered with "Yes". Thomas Aquinas took this further and described four conditions under which any prayer would be answered affirmatively. In his writing you find these conditions to be:

1. Concerning Salvation
2. Personal
3. Pious
4. Persevering

While the aspects of such prayers may be contested, the logic appears sound. After all, the nature of faith is personal therefore surely you can meddle successfully only in your own relationship. When you approach in submissive or devout mindset you are thinking of the greater good not personal gain which also seems needful. Anything truly needed is worth asking for consistently. So these all make sense.

When you do a little more research you find a variety of other writers who argue that there are simply types of prayers that are always answered. Salvation, confession, and wisdom seem to be the common agreed to classifications.

As I examine their words, I find the overlap to be significant and gap to be mostly immaterial. In all cases, salvation is the prevalent theme. Those things which aid or guide or influence that salvation and the walking in righteous that must follow salvation, those things also are included.

So how then shall we pray? Without ceasing.

So for what then shall we pray? His Will.

Labels: prayer, reflections

My friend taught me a lesson yesterday. Generally speaking this is nothing new. Each day I am constantly learning and relearning lessons retold by those I respect. This is one such friend but this was not the same such lesson.

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
-- Matthew 6:6

It is no secret that I'm not the most empathetic person in the world. But as time passes, wounds heal, and faith matures, I find I've become more so with each day. As I watch my friend calmly handle those challenges life throws with grace and composure my desire to pray was physical and immediate.

In truth, I think I get that from my father who is a prayer warrior of indomitable resolve. In no way would I compare my meager measure with his full treasure but if through vicinity and not vocation some small smatter of him no doubt has rubbed off on me.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.
-- Luke 18:1

Like my father, when faced with trials of my own my first response is to pray. When faced with a friend under fire, the visceral reaction attempts to vomit from my lips without restraint, "Can we pray?"

Unfortunately, in the workplace and other certain social settings, it is important to exercise restraint; to recognize that sometimes remaining circumspect is the most effective use of my life as His reflection.

How do I reconcile my faith system that asserts the most effective support I can proffer is to pray, with the world view rooted only in words and actions? Once again, I learn how powerless I must become when all I can offer is prayer to a world that doesn't value it.

At least I have prayer to console my heavy heart. What despair must be felt by one without faith?

Labels: faith, prayer, reflections

Someone I mentor recently sent me a list of questions from a class he was taking. The class is all about entrepreneurialism and so forth. One question in particular really stuck out to me as I was writing his responses. It matched well with my devotion for the day.

What is one key word you would give me to live by in the future?

My answer for what it is worth was "Care". You have to really care about your place in the world. Understanding how you fit, what is your purpose, what you bring to relationships, how you will spend your time. All of these are rooted in your ability, your desire, to Care.

I was reading in Mark, the parable of the rich young ruler. He came to Jesus and prostrated himself. He asked simply what he needed to do to accomplish his goal: Eternal Life. As it is written, "Jesus, looking at him, loved him."

The ruler wasn't aligning what he was doing with what he cared about. His world view wasn't matching his desires. He thought his end goal was one thing, but really it wasn't. All around me I see evidence of this, even in my own life. It is a normal, trivial thing for us to delude ourselves about our motivations. We lie to no one as easy as ourselves.

There is a certain type of jellyfish found in the Mediterranean that feeds on tiny snails. What is interesting is that the jellyfish cannot digest these snails because of their protective shells. After the jellyfish eats the snails the diner become the dinner. The snails attach themselves to the inside of the jellyfish and begins to eat. Eventually the jellyfish is consumed by what it once consumed.

This simply story in nature is found over and over in our world today. We get swallowed up pursuing money, fame, or power. We get on the treadmill of doing the things we hate, supposedly for the things we love; never realizing our needs our already met.

If we are clear in our Care, then we'll be able to break the cycle of selfishness. Our motivations won't be delusions, but tangible and attainable.

Labels: motivation, reflections

This past week I had a very interesting conversation with a friend over breakfast. He is one of those quick minded people who is constantly analyzing the world around him as it relates to himself. Unlike most he does this consciously, deliberately which is a trait I much admire.

During this conversation the subject of motivation came up. Why do we do what we do? When pressed to me I had to confess that I believe that life is about service. Therefore my motivations are my service to others as that will indirectly be my service to my God.

As is the case with many good conversations, my thinking didn't end when the conversation did. I continued to ponder whether my answer was complete, and if my walk in life lived up to my talk in the conversation. Naturally, my mind bent towards money.

In my heart I know that the motivation for giving money should be based on my need to respond to God's gifts, not on the need of someone else to receive my gift.

My motivation for giving should not be a church need or another need even; no matter how worthy that need might be. The needs might be totally legitimate, but that isn't the point. They are just not supposed to be the motivation behind the giving, the service, the commitment.

Giving and service should be motivated out of the abundance of blessings that God has bestowed on my life and my ongoing desire to respond by giving back to my God with my whole life. If gratitude is sincere, it should impact me; there should be a cost. If it does not, then you aren't really acknowledging that you have been impacted. You are dismissing the value of the blessing when you respond without equal measure. Since I'